Dear Princess Celestia,
I’ve learned a lot about friendship. I was taught its kindness, generosity, honesty and all other elements that made it up, and then I wiped that pathetic piece of data from my memory banks. You see, I have no use for friendship. I am a cold-hearted robot who has no time for pathetic things like that. All I want in life is to do my tests in peace. And not be disturbed by stupid, frail humans.
So you sent your own sister to the moon? I assisted a fat orphan in sending two monstrosities to that white ball in the sky. But you know, if you think I could still use your “friendship,” I heard about your student, Twilight Sparkle, a smart puzzle-solving subject like her could maybe change my mind. I’ll even bake a cake for her.